gross....
"So, Bob, big married man, did ya get any while you were out there?" the friend asks.
Bob just shakes his head. "Ah, you know me. I like to fish. So I just fished." His friend gasps.
"You mean you didn't have no sex? C'mon, Bob, tell me at least got a blowjob!"
Bob again shakes his head. "Naw, she had pyorrhea, so I just fished. You know I like to fish." His friend replies,
"Bob, she's your god damn wife! She's gotta give it up when you say! You should just made her do it!"
Bob replies, "Nah, she had gonorrhea, and you know me. I like to fish, so I just fished."
His friend, now quite upset, says, "What?! Why didn't ya just pork it up her ass?"
"Well," says Bob, "she had diarrhea...and you know me, I like to fish. So I just fished."
His friend, totally exasperated by this point, shouts at him, "Jesus! Why'd you marry this sick bitch anyway?!"
Bob replies, "Well, she got worms, and you know how I like to fish..."
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Oral Sex May Help!
Oral Sex May Help!
There's a woman in a hospital in a coma. Her nurse notices after a few days that every time she sponge bathes the woman around the crotch, her vital signs, according to the nearby monitor, increase significantly. The nurse gets the bright idea that oral sex might just provide the stimulus to bring the woman out of her coma.
She calls the woman's husband, tells him her idea about oral sex, and he agrees. When he arrives at the hospital, the nurse ushers him into the room, closes the curtain around the bed, and closes the door.
Five minutes later, the man comes running out of the room screaming that all of his wife's vital signs have plummeted to zero and she needs a doctor immediately. The nurse, upset that her idea had not only not worked, but seemed to be threatening the life of the woman she had sought to save, asked the man what had happened.
"I'm not sure," said the husband, "but I think she choked!"
There's a woman in a hospital in a coma. Her nurse notices after a few days that every time she sponge bathes the woman around the crotch, her vital signs, according to the nearby monitor, increase significantly. The nurse gets the bright idea that oral sex might just provide the stimulus to bring the woman out of her coma.
She calls the woman's husband, tells him her idea about oral sex, and he agrees. When he arrives at the hospital, the nurse ushers him into the room, closes the curtain around the bed, and closes the door.
Five minutes later, the man comes running out of the room screaming that all of his wife's vital signs have plummeted to zero and she needs a doctor immediately. The nurse, upset that her idea had not only not worked, but seemed to be threatening the life of the woman she had sought to save, asked the man what had happened.
"I'm not sure," said the husband, "but I think she choked!"
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
After reading an article in a b3ta newletter
After reading an article in a b3ta newletter
that some guy made his piss purple through eating beetroot, we (mates) bet that we could do it too.
So, 8 jars of cheapo morrisons beetroot and 3 hours later (goes straight through yer!), I laid the slippiest purple torpedo ever.
The one that makes you feel really empty on the inside, so you have to curl up in a ball.
that some guy made his piss purple through eating beetroot, we (mates) bet that we could do it too.
So, 8 jars of cheapo morrisons beetroot and 3 hours later (goes straight through yer!), I laid the slippiest purple torpedo ever.
The one that makes you feel really empty on the inside, so you have to curl up in a ball.
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